4.13.2014

i don't like the rain.

I don't like it when it rains, when I can't see through the window because droplets of water collect and form a barrier. I don't like it when the clouds are gray and cover the sun, when you can never tell what time it is because the it keeps a monotonous shade all day long. It would be hard for me to live in seattle, but it might do me well because I could finally learn to embrace these days.
 
Today is sunday, and I like good days. I like happy days. Today I'm alone, and it's raining, and the sky is gray. I'm sitting at my dad's house with one lamp on, while molly sleeps in the corner. It one of those days where I had great things planned and they all fell away, and I'm left here. It was supposed to be sunny, in my mind. I made myself coffee this morning, then I toasted two blueberry waffles and burned them both.
 
I get caught up in words and promises and hold on to them like a rope swing crossing a creek because I'm afraid of falling into the cold water. Maybe the words were meaningless, but to me, words are never meaningless, and I take everything to heart. To me, if I meant enough, I shouldn't have doubts; I shouldn't be feeling this way. Maybe it's just today, the sky will clear up tomorrow.
 
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I thought I should show you my favorite part of the week, aside from this. It was early in the week, and the sun was setting in my living room while the bright light streamed in and hit the table, my hair, the floor, the couch, the walls. Mama wrote a new quote on the chalkboard canvas, and I walked circles around her, trying to catch the light hitting her hair. I like the light.
 
 
-ryan 

2 comments:

  1. while i heartily disagree with not liking the rain (rain is my favorite weather ever), i love this post to death.
    you have such a lovely way with words, ryan. gahh, somehow you capture ordinary things (like burning waffles) and make it something nostalgic and wonderful.

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  2. Man, Ryan, I feel like all of your posts lately could be words taken right out of my mouth.
    I hate when plans fall through. I hate when expectations fall through. There are two quotes I love about that: "expectation is the root of all heartache" and another one... which I actually just blanked on. Whoops. Anyways. I just want to say that I love reading your posts.

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