1.19.2014

here's to life


Sometimes I feel to need to ramble on and make excuses as to why I haven't been here, but, instead, I'll just say that I have been spending lots of time doing lots of stuff.

I spend a lot of time on spotify, because music is wondrous and there can never be too much of it. Otherwise, I'm procrastinating on something or another. Lately there have been late nights, I mean really late nights. Mostly those that include me coming home from work to a mountain of homework; a midnight trip to walmart the other night may of may not have occurred, just saying. Surprisingly, I'm not too tired. I'm pretty proud of myself for being able to balance this whole work and school thing, and I'm not gonna act like it's easy, because it most definitely isn't. But I've been enjoying myself more, I've made friends with nearly everyone and I look forward to seeing them when I go.

I can't know everything. I can't know everything, and neither can anyone else. Honestly, all I want to do is leave the country, or really, just go somewhere else for a while. First I watched this, and then this, and I was angry for a while and then I realized how much time I've lost. Let me just say that grades are not a measure of intelligence, school is not the most important thing in life, and we need to take time for ourselves. Some people will disagree with me. They'll say I'm falling into a slump or going into denial, but both of those things are wrong. I'm more motivated than ever to separate school from my emotions. There is no reason to feel degraded or unintelligent when you receive bad grades, and that's all that I've been doing, and I've been doing it to myself. I'm tired of that; I'm tired of comparing my grades to someone else's, and it has a profound affect on how I feel about myself, along with school. High school is supposed to be an enjoyable time, and I sure wish for that, but the only way that I can get there is to embrace that I can't be good at every subject and try my hardest.

Aside from that, I'm going to the symphony for my birthday, and I'm extremely overly excited and I'm going dress shopping on Monday. Eeek yay. Oh, and let me just say that the video of Carlotta and Jennolle is just gold. I'm going to meet some blog people, but seriously.

Also, thanks for those of you who have put up with my random and way-too-long absences.

-ryan

PS, the pictures above are from my memaw's house a couple of weekends ago.

4 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Thank you so much, that means a lot. :)

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  2. I know how it feels to just want to get away and go somewhere for awhile by yourself. I've been wanting to do that for months, but I don't think it's going to happen. :/

    Anyway, great to see you back, and your pictures are drop-dead gorgeous. :)

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