2.22.2014


A couple of nights ago I came home from work and saw the stars shining extra bright in the sky, so I grabbed my camera and laid on the driveway, and proceeded to take pictures of them. The thing about stars, is that they are really, really far away. Maybe they're giant beings of light and gas; I don't really know. That's what the scientists say; but they're beautiful just the same, and they're always there.

Sometimes I think that it's the same with piano music. It's a concept that's so foreign to me. Even though I know how it occurs, I can't fathom the idea that such beautiful music comes out of just one instrument.

And still, it's the same with life in general. The other day, there were more people that asked me where I wanted to go to college, that day, than the entire month combined. I've made a really hard decision; if I can pull out the money, and get enough scholarships together, I'll be going out of state. Maybe this wouldn't be a hard decision for some of you, but I've lived in Texas my entire life, and I hardly ever travel. It's like playing the piano, for me. I love the music, but I've sat back for as long as I can remember and just listened to it, to my grandmother playing. I never took lessons even when I had the chance. Now, I have a keyboard in my room, and it's one of my favorite things. I teach myself songs by listening to them, and I have realized that I, my small self in a world full of others, can make music, with the same instrument that every other piano player uses. And when I finished learning my favorite piano song, it gave me such a sense of gratitude, that I smiled for the rest of the day, and however-many-months later today is from learning that song, I'm still immensely proud of myself.

I've been safe my entire life. There's so many things for me to see, and I would much rather be seeing them, and experiencing them, then continuing to watch others do so. I want to be a journalist, or a wedding photographer. I want to live downtown-somewhere near a small coffee shop in a colonial house and make a modest living. Also, I'm learning Spanish, so I can go to Spain. And no matter how many people tell me that it's not practical, I'll reply with certainty that it is exactly what I want; I'll work hard and pour my heart out to get there.

The thing about stars and plans for life (dreams, I guess you could call them) is that they are both far away. Everyone can see them, and they're always there. But the thing about dreams, is that if you work hard enough, take enough risks, and are crazy enough to believe in them, they are able to be reached.

-ryan

4 comments:

  1. oh my. you don't know how much this spoke to me. this is brilliant! i know how you feel, m'dear, in a sense... everyone choking down your throat that it's not practical. except, i am going to college but one in FL, when I, a small-town girl have lived all my life in CA.

    your writings are wonderful. keep chasing your dreams, kay? they're important, and I know that you're going to move mountains. xx

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    1. Thank you, Grace! You are the sweetest.

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  2. this reminded me of the time charlie made a snow angel in perks. i don't know why, but i like it.

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    1. oh wooooow that's a huge compliment because perks.

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